If you'll indulge for a moment my rhyming motif,
I'd like to tell you a tale of a place called the Reef.
The entire coral kingdom is a delight to the senses...
Alas, that is not where our story commences.
We're used to blue water, this water would spook us,
It's the color of phlegm, or possibly mucus.
And the salty sea spray that wafts on the breeze,
Is like the stuff that comes out of your nose when you sneeze.
In this polluted and ominous swill,
There was one little fish of unusual skill...
Who would one day meet a most incredible fate,
Full of fighting! Romancing! Becoming live bait!
I know it boggles the mind and beggars belief,
But that's the wee lad who'd one day save the Reef.
Shark Bait
I don't have anything against your cousin Pearl... except she's nuts.
But that doesn't mean I wanna live next door to her.
But Pike, it's safe on the Reef.
There's no fishing, the water's clean...
But honey, I love Boston.
What's the big attraction? Is it the gill nets?
The medical waste? The industrial pollution?
- Hey, it's never hurt me. - Oh please, Pike.
Sweetie, you're so full of mercury
I could stick your tail in my mouth and take my temperature.
Honey, you're exaggerating. The water here is perfectly healthy.
- Hey, Pike. - Morning, Bob.
Honey.
And what if Pi grows up to have three eyes?
Cool!
Okay, but think of the cultural opportunities here.
In Boston Harbor, Pi can meet fish from all over the world!
Oh like those salmon? What a classy bunch they were.
All of them talking about how they just
couldn't wait to get up river and... S-P-A-W-N.
Spawn!
What did I tell you about using language like that?
I'm sorry!
Oh, you're growing up so fast...
Go play, sweetheart. Your father and I need to talk.
Okay!
- But don't go too far! - Pike!
- Hey! - Oh! Hallo!
Haven't seen you around here before.
I'm just passing through. We're migrating.
You're lucky. I wish I migrated.
We never go anywhere. You're a dolphin, right?
I'm a porpoise! Why does everyone think I'm a dolphin?
Percy, darling, we've getting ready to leave...
Oh! Hallo, Mum. This is... uh...
Pi! Where are you?
Oh, that's my mom, I gotta go.
Nice meeting you!
Mom! Dad! I met a porpoise!
Pi! What did I tell you about talking to strangers?
You have to be careful, son.
Boy, I'll say!
You wouldn't believe some of the weirdoes you see around here.
Bob... Don't help me.
- Hey! Watch it! what's the rush? - It's a net!
- Net? - Swim!
What are we gotta do?
- Pike! Swim! - Swim as fast as you can!
- What is it? - Swim, Pi!
Swim!
Pike! We've got to get him out of here before they...
They're pulling it up!
Pi! Try to squeeze through!
But... What about you?
We're right behind you. Hurry!
Push Pi! Push harder!
I made it! Come on!
Mom! Dad!
- Don't let him get near the net! - Let go of me! I have to help 'em!
Pi! Go to the Reef! Find your Aunt Pearl!
Promise me, Pi!
I can't! You have to go with me!
Promise me, Pi! Promise me you'll go to the Reef!
Mom! Dad!
Mom... Dad...
- We'll take you to the Reef, - Pi. But I can't leave.
What if they, what if they come back and I'm not here?
- They won't be able to find me. - I'm sorry, Pi.
But once the net gets you... there's no coming back.
Mom... Dad...
Come on, Pi!
Your turn!
- Hey, what's in here? - Let's find out!
Hey, you kids!
Pi, you can do it!
- Cool! - Hey, hello there?
- Really big! - Huge!
Wow, wonderful.
Hey! Wait! Wait!
You all right? Try again!
Look at me!
Wow!
Hahaha, little fish... It's not painful while I eat you,
I'm gonna swallow you whole.
Hey!
What the... Bad fish!
Pi! That was brilliant!
You sure you won't come with us?
I wish I could, Perc, but I promised my mom.
There you go, dear.
Just follow those stones, and they'll take you right to the Reef.
I'll never forget you help, Mum. So long, Perc.
S'long, mate.
Wow!
- Dokdo is whose land? It's Korean.
It was a 55-foot trawler,
and they we're using a three-pronged titanium steel hook on 45-pound,
stress-tested monofilament.
I must have played 'em for three hours
before the line finally snapped and they got away.
55-foot trawler. Right... Oh, like I haven't heard that one before.
I tell ya... That boat gets bigger every time he tells the story
Excuse me?
What's a matter, boychik? You lost?
How's that? What'd he say?
He says he's lost! You deaf marlin.
Actually, I'm looking for my Aunt Pearl.
- You're lookin' for a squirrel? - No, no, Pearl!
He's looking for the crazy lady!
Oh, ee. Come here. She lives right down there, chico.
Thank you.
That is right, darling. Work with me!
Now take it to the edge.
Yes! Take it to the edge... take it right to the edge...
YOU'RE RIGHT AT THE EDGE! Bring it back!
Oh, yes, yeah! Magnifique!
- Who is that? - Who is that?
That's Cordelia, dude. Where've you been?
I just got into town.
Oh. Welcome to the Scab, dude.
Perhaps you should wear it up.
Oh, Yes! Sleek, sophisticated. Like Audrey Hepburn.
Only better... with scales!
- She's beautiful. - Oh yeah. She's a model.
She've been on the cover of National Geographic.
Twice!
Don't look over here!
Ignore me... Look at me!
I've got to meet her.
Whoa there, newbie. newbie. Take my advice and worship from afar.
Uh? What?
No, no, no, no.
You're ruined my shot! Baffoon! Baffoon!
Can we please keep the local riffraff out of my shot?
Is that too much to ask?
Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.
That's your good side.
That is a wrap, people!
I don't blame you, mon cheri. You were sublime, as always
- Thank you, Max. - Belissima! Ciao!
Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mess things up back there.
Don't worry about it. They'll be back
Oh, cool, cool.
So I'm Pi. I'm new in town.
Really? I couldn't tell.
Yeah, I just swam in from Boston.
Boston? That's a long way.
Well, you know I'm pretty strong for my size.
Check these mussels?
- Hey! - Hands off the merchandise!
Oww! Hey. Easy, man!
Cute and funny. What did you say your name was?
I'm PI.
Well, Pi from Boston, welcome to the Reef.
Dude. She actually talked to you!
That's fully the most awesome thing I've ever... seen?
Cordelia, look out!
Dude, don't! He's a shark!
Ohhhh. Hello fellas.
- Help me! Somebody help me! - Here you go, Mr. Crab.
Thank you so very much!
I have been wrong-side up all day
and it has been most uncomfortable, ohhhhh!
- You taste like tuna! - You are what you eat.
You're disgusting, Troy! Why can't you leave me alone?
But you are alone, sweet gills.
No family, no one to protect you from the dangers of the deep.
The only danger in this part of the deep is you.
Well then. All the more reason to get on my good side.
You need someone to look after you.
I don't need a rude, egotistical bully with a bad case of tuna breath!
- Back off! - Pi!
- What did you say? - You heard me. Leave her alone.
What are you gonna do about it, Chum?
- I'm... gonna... - You're gonna,
Oh yeah, you're gonna take a little trip... through my digestive system.
Man, you're gettin' chunky! It used to be easy to stuff you into this hole.
We're gonna have to find a bigger hole, or a skinnier nerd!
Yikes! No more beating up bad weathers.
I'm grossed out!
Let's get outta here!
- Nobody close into my hole! Nobody! - I can pick my old dough.
Forget about him, he doesn't know what he's saying!
Yeah... That tends to happen when you get smacked in the head.
Hey!
You're a coward, Troy!
You only come to the Reef because we're small and easy to push around
Why don't you try this act out there, in the open sea, where there're fish as big as you?
I've got a soft spot, Cordelia, for fine looking fish like you.
But don't push me too far. I'm Troy.
Who's the shark who's more bite than bark?
Troy!
Who's faster than a beam of light? Who's got the teeth that are pearly white?
Troy!
Who gets the applause 'cause he's got the jaws?
Who can do what he wants just because?
Who ain't afraid of no lobster claws?
Troy!
Hey, that's me.
I'll be back when you're done playing mommy to that little hunk of bait.
Vamanos...
- You got fully thrashed, dude. - What?
Axed. Hemo-ed. Smeared. creamed,
obliterated, flattened, murdered, wipe out!
That wasn't the smartest thing I've ever seen.
He hit me when I wasn't looking!
There's only one dangerous place on the Reef.
And that's between Troy and whatever he wants.
Go home and get that taken care of yourself.
- What... Cordelia! - Troy is my problem,
and I don't want anyone else getting hurt on my account.
But...
- Busy first day, dude. - Yeah.
Listen, I've gotta find my aunt Pearl.
She's supposed to be this weird kind of New Age,
fortune teller type sort of... - koo, koo!
You know, crazy, Basically insane.
- You don't happen to know her, do you? - Yeah, dude. She's my mom.
I see it... yes. Oh boy, that doesn't look good.
What do you see? Will my dreams come true?
- Well, that depends. - On what?
Do your dreams involve sitting on a sink next to a bottle of dishwashing liquid?
This can't be!
My cousin's a loofah! She's exfoliated some of the most prominent backsides around!
But I get to scrub pots?
NO!
Curse you, star-crossed DESTINY!
Sponges. They're all so emotional.
At least she's not stuck in this pinnacle all day and you get all the pretty!
Sorry, Madge.
- Dude. - Dylan!
Ohh! Pi! You made it!
- You knew I was coming? - Of course darling.
While meditating, my astral form achieved a transcendent communion
with none other than the Spirit of the Sea!
And it revealed to me a vision of your arrival!
And a passing porpoise mentioned you were in the neighborhood.
Then... you know what happened to my parents.
Oh, Pi, I'm so sorry!
But I think they're in a better place now
Yeah. In a sushi bar.
- Can it stop, fish! - Don't hurt me!
The Reef is where you'll find your destiny, honey
Give me your fin, I'll tell your fortune...
Oh, fish...
Boy, let's see chapter two.
Hey, I can't wait to see all these sentences!
Here come the Pull on dorsal fin probe.
I don't really believe in that stuff.
The Reef is a place where dreams come true.
Unless you happen to be a sponge.
Now Pi, the Reef is paradise,
and you can go anywhere you want.
But stay away from the old wreck. It's haunted by dead pirates.
Cool!
And most important of all:
we never, ever, ever go to Flatbottom.
- What's Flatbottom? - It's a place we never go.
Awe Mom. You're not going out in public like that, are you?
I like to have a little star quality.
Plus, It gives me more height and helps to de-emphasize my tail fin.
Right?
I'm gonna need some time freshen up first, I got like five armpits over here.
Is that Ricky Marlin?
No, huh. But almost.
Oh, hello, Dr. Tang!
He's a very prominent sturgeon.
You see why I always try to look my best,
you never know who you might meet.
- What do you think? - What? No. Ha. No. No.
It clashes with the beer can.
I think it'd look better over there.
You've crushing my creative instincts.
Check out the bling-bling on Miss Thing!
Oh, hello you two.
More like J-Lo jellyfish. So crazy.
- Hello - Looking good
Oh, you two are such flirts!
Don't stop... Don't stop!
Oh, clams!
I'm late for my healing crystal seminar at the monkfish monastery,
So Dylan, I want you to introduce Pi around. Okay?
- Yeah. Sure. - Thanks, Sweetie.
- No PDPA. Remember? - PDPA?
Public Displays of Parental Affection.
Excuse me, sir... I'm not proud.
Dude, that was totally feebish.
You can't be that big a feeb and expect to hang out with me.
Well, how big a feeb can I be?
Well, you can't be more than 30% feeb, and no more than 15% dork.
Hey! What's that?
- That's the old pirate ship. - Cool. Come on!
No way, dude, now way. It's totally off-limits.
That's wonderful!
Dude, I'm... Man! Don't you listen!
You're not afraid of ghosts, are you?
No, I'm not afraid of anything!
But Dude, there's a totally spooky turtle that lives in there.
A spooky... turtle?
No. No. Yeah. No. But yeah... But he's a wizard turtle!
And he really doesn't like visitors.
Dude! Oh... fish. Ok, can we please just go? Please!
That's him, you see. That's Nerissa.
Can we please not do that again?
So, dude, you think you're gonna see that Cordelia?
Ugh. Not if she sees me first.
Don't be nugatory, bro. I think she really liked you.
She thinks I'm an idiot.
True. Well, maybe she likes idiots.
It's kinda like having a friend and a pet at the same time.
So how bad is the shark problem around here?
Well, reef's too shallow for most sharks. But Troy comes around
every full moon, weee, fun for me, you know. Him and his buddies.
Why?
'cause he's got a thing for Cordelia, dude! Don't you listen?
His buddies just come mostly to stuff my head into a lobster hole.
Yeah, like nobody ever thought of that before.
- Oh oh... - What is it?
- Flatbottom. - It's the open sea.
Why is everyone so afraid of this place?
I'm NOT afraid..!
But we're outside the Wildlife Sanctuary.
You see. And, and, this is where the humans come with their nets
and their hooks and their sharp things.
The net!
Bye bye.
Dylan?
Dylan! Dylan!
What happened to you little fella?
Are you all right?
Cordelia!
- Don't panic! - What is it?
Haven't you ever seen a lure?
Of course you haven't. There's no fishing on the Reef.
This must have been carried here by the current.
- What'll I do? - Don't worry.
I think I know someone who can help.
We need some help over here!
Front and center, girlfriend. We got an emergency.
- Look! - Oh, honey! That is so not you!
I tell you, these kids today, with their extreme sports and their piercings.
Guys, it was an accident.
- I thought it was a smelt in distress. - You were supposed to, honey.
Good likeness. Looks like a smelt I knew back in San Francisco...
Oh, what a weekend that was.
Oh no, not this story again!
- Can you take it out? - Absolutely!
But you're going to have to help me big time.
Me?
Ok, you lay back like I'm giving you nice pedicure.
Now what I need you to do is to take her fin... that's right.
And Honey, I want you to look into his eyes, okay?
Ok, now this isn't going to hurt... me. You gonna be a brave girl?
- I will. - She will.
She was!
- How do you feel? - Okay, I think.
I guess I was more scared than hurt.
But I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there, Pi.
- How'd you wind up down here? - I made a promise...
Or maybe it's destiny.
Well... there's a big show tonight at the Amphitheater.
Normally I skip it. But I thought... well if you wanna go...
Bong-bong... BONG-bong...
Ha, ha, ha. We got it!
But getting, and keeping, are two different things.
Back off, before you get hurt.
#Got a date with Cordelia, cause you're a big bad fish, ya.
Zip it, Harry codfish junior.
- Where you've been? - I was hiding out.
- From who? - Squidnappers!
That trying to steal Nerissa's blue pearl, buddy boy.
Well, come on!
Hey!
Dude! Oh fish!
Now, I'm no fortune-teller, boys,
but I can predict three things that aren't gonna happen:
You see,
I'm not gonna get hurt. I'm not gonna back off.
We're gotta do something.
Dude. Getting beat up once a day isn't good enough for you?
There's three of them!
Get him!
You took left!
Hey, come back here!
Trick or treat?
Quit now, before you're calamari.
I got the sauce right here. I'm not afraid to use it.
What a old man!
You turtle! I don't feel so good!
See you later.
Such big heads. Such tiny brains.
- Wow - Turtlely awesome.
Let's go.
That old turtle's unbelievable!
- You boys saw Nerissa? - Speak up, son.
We saw Nerissa fight some squids! He was amazing!
Of course.
That's why they call him el macho tor tuga.
Man he've got the moves awesomely for an old coots.
Oh, sorry. Sorry about that old coots.
- Huh? - He said old coot!
No, I did not toot!
Why don't you accuse Manny for once?
He blasts out more bubbles than a scuba diver.
What you say man?
Hold up a second. What' you say?
That's it, viejo loco! I've had enough of your insults!
En garde! En garde!
Spirit of the Sea!
We ask your help in contacting, Uncle Phil.
He was last seen...
La, la, la, LA, la, la, la, LA!
Where? Where was he seen?
I'm not listening, I'm not listening this... La, la, la, LA,
What're you doing?
Dude, you saw what was goin' on down there.
My mom with all her voodoo mumbo jumbo.
Those séances are totally embarrassing. You know what, I think you're right.
I think swimming through the middle of the room going,
'La la, LA LA LA LA!' is much more dignified.
So what's that thing your mom's always staring at?
Oh, that's the pearl my dad gave her.
You know the old saying, 'give a girl a pearl?
Why would anyone want to give a girl a pearl?
Cause if she accepts it, it means you'll be together forever.
Anyway, My Mom thinks hers is magic.
Hey, that's what those squids were trying to steal from Nerissa... a pearl!
You don't think he's gonna ask some girl to marry him, do you?
Oh, gross, no, dude!
He's like 200 years old! That's disgusting.
- Hi! - Hey!
It's showtime!
Welcome, to the Reef Amphitheater.
We are proud to present the Caribbean's most famous adventurer,
who is here tonight to tell the thrilling tales of his encounters
with the sea's most fearsome creatures.
Ladies and gentlemen, give up for... Thornton!
And his back-up prawns, the Kim Chi!
I could make you all gasp with just an average story
for even my typical tales are scary and gory
But I know the adventure you're aching to hear The most stupendous!
And horrendous battle of my entire career!
He faced a creature that would make you faint dead with fear!
The most hideous sea monster to ever appear!
It had two mouths, and on each mouth a sneer!
It had two heads! And looked like a giant brassier!
I faced a sea monster but I didn't make tracks.
I stood face to face and fought off her attacks.
And I know that you'll want to get all of the facts.
So stick a fin in your ear and dig out the wax.
Dig the wax from your ears, you'll seem more debonair
'cause it looks like you've stuck two big candles in there.
It was a monstrous sea monster, the size of a tanker!
What did you do?
I capsized and sank her.
And then were you through?
Not a bit! She was brawny. And strong as an anchor!
I had to get tough I tickled and spanked her!
What an amazing sight!
When it was over I thanked her.
Because I am always polite.
I'm fairly certain, this guy is full of blowfish.
I hear you say 'But!' And you say 'Tut! Tut'
Things are not always what they appear
I may have gray whiskers and an oversized rear...
His butt is humongous! It must weigh a ton
It frightens small children And blots out the sun!
What are you doing?
That's not in the script! Are you mad? You're running!
It's a big bulging billowing blubber-stuffed rump!
It's bigger by far than a humpback whale's hump!
- Hey, Max! Bring up the music! - Hit it boy! Quickly!
Go Thornton! You're humongous!
Thank you!
That was quite an amazing story.
It's getting late, I guess I better go.
No, wait. Don't go. Not yet.
Well, I...
- Have you ever been to the surface? - No.
Come on!
Wow!
See that set of stars over there?
That's called the Big Dipper. And that over there is the Little Dipper...
I had no idea!
And up there is Leo and next to it, Gemini
And see that one over there? Well, that's me...
Huh?
Those stars are called Pisces.
Pi is for Pisces.
Beautiful...
Boo! Let's get out of here!
Hurry, Cordelia!
You'd better be scared.
- Well hello. - Go, Pi. Leave me.
I won't
No!
Leave him alone!
Oh well I'm confused, baby,
cause I thought you wanted to be left alone,
and yet I find you swimming around with that piece of chum.
It's none of your business what I do, Troy. You don't own me.
I'm a tiger shark, baby. I own whatever I can take,
and I take whatever I want.
Troy!
- Can I eat him? - Eenie, meeney,
- ah miney... - Troy!
Oh, what the heck. Why don't you each take half?
NO! Troy, if you let them do this, I'll never forgive you.
Forgiveness. I don't need your stinking forgiveness.
Please! Please! If you don't hurt him...
I'll do anything
Like... anything, anything?
If you leave Pi alone, and promise never to come to the Reef again,
- then... I'll... I'll... - Yeah?
Accept your pearl.
- No! - Hey!
Let our little chum go.
Cordelia, you can't...
I'll be back at the next full Moon.
Wait till you see the pearl I'm gonna bring you little girl.
You'll change your mind about me then.
Vamanos!
So baby, when I get back, be ready.
I got thirty days to live it up and party!
Who's the hotshot who can't be caught?
Troy!
- Who's twice as mean as an ocelot? - Troy!
Oh, Pi...
What could I do?
You know the rules of the sea... you can't leave a man adrift like that.
Owww, my head...
I wouldn't be so hasty, kid.
That shark did quite a number on your sorry tail.
How did I get here?
Well, the currents brought you here and dumped ya outside.
If it wasn't for your pretty lady friend.
Cordelia! Is she all right?
She spent the night bawlin' at your side.
I finally had to send her home to get some peace and quiet around here.
I've got to stop her. She's gonna accept Troy's pearl.
I sorry kid. She seemed very determined to go through with it.
Then I'll stop Troy.
You're gonna to stop a tiger shark?
Is that what just came out of your mouth, just know?
Yeah... you're right.
Determined women and tiger sharks. You don't pick easy fights, do ya kid?
Well what about you?
I ain't helping you with your love life, kid. Forget it.
- Everybody says your a wizard! - Oh, do they now?
Yeah, and I saw you beat those squids.
Three of them at once! You totally rocked!
Can you help me fight Troy?
- Go fight your own battle kid. - Please.
Haven't you ever been in love before?
I'm sorry.
Hey boychick, why the long face?
- I bet it's about a girl. - Did you say Pearl?
Actually, that't my problem.
The girl I like... Cordelia she's gonna accept Troy's pearl.
That Troy's a punk!
Why, back in my day, we, we knew how to handle sharks like that.
You never fought a shark, Jack.
Oh yes I did.
Took on a 25-foot hammerhead back in '71.
- Really? - Yep.
Poked him right in the keister. Right where the sun never shines.
He'll never forget me, I guarantee ya that.
I wouldn't put a whole lotta stock in what Jack says, chico.
You calling me crazy?!
You questioning my credibility, boy?
For about the tenth time today, yes!
- All right! That's it. Put'm up. - En garde!
Hey! Would you guys help me fight Troy?
Get the seacup out of your mouth, son. Speak up.
He wants us to, fight the SHARK!
My back!
Man! These cartilage crabs are killin' me.
Well, you see chico we've what you call past our prime...
Past our prime? We're old and feeble. Over the hill. We're nearly buried, boychick.
Listen. Fighting it's, it is a young man's game.
You need someone with a little more 'oomph' to his swim
if you know what I'm talking about.
Somebody more robust and sportin' like Thornton.
Thornton? What about Thornton?
That's it, Someone more like Thornton
Thorton? Agh. Well, What've I gotta lose!
Did I ever tell you boys about the time I freed Willy?
Aye, caramba.
Now there's one minor change I want to make to the act
There will be no further references to my rear end.
That's my complex.
You will cease comparing its size and appearance to
A) a tugboat, B) the planet Jupiter, or C)...
Mr. Thornton!
Oh? You are a little early for the show, my boy.
My girl's engaged to a shark!
SHARK?! Shark! Where? Where?!
My girl's engaged to a shark!
You're girls engaged to a shark.
Shocking. Absolutely shocking.
He's gonna take Cordelia away.
I need your help. Will you fight him?
You want me to fight a shark? You've come unhinged, lad.
I thought you fought a sea monster as big as an oil tanker.
- Who said that? - You did. Last night.
I did? Oh, yes that's right, I did.
Yes, but you see, that doesn't count, because I said it in rhyme.
That's what we call poetic al license.
You mean you lied.
Well, I, I... I may have exaggerated for dramatic effect.
But... And anyway, I, I'm sure
I said it was more the size of a... kayak.
Thanks for nothing.
Don't worry lad, There's plenty more fish in the sea.
- Well, would you fight a shark? - You're nothing but a fat booty!
All right, I got the most beautiful girl on the Reef.
Now I've just gotta find the most beautiful pearl.
But Troy, finding something like that could take months.
Yeah, If we were morons!
Who's got the best one on the reef?
Hey... Nerissa. He has a blue pearl.
It's the only one on the Reef, see?
Perfect. Go get it, and bring it back. Problem solved.
They say he's kind'a tough, this Nerissa
Are you tellin' me that you are not tougher than a ta too... turtle?
Are you an idiot? Are you?
Well... I...
Who can part the sea like Charlton Heston?
Troy!
Who's tougher than you all, even when he's just restin?
Troy!
Who's gonna do what I say, or find themselves in my large intestine?
- Us. - That's right!
What am I gonna do?
PI!
I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy!
Dylan, what are you doing?
Dude, you are my idol! Dude, don't play dumb with me, man.
You didn't come home last night from your hot date with Cordelia.
But don't worry, I got ya covered with mom.
So... details, please.
I got beat up by Troy and Cordelia agreed to accept his Pearl.
What?
She agreed to accept Troy's pearl if he stopped pummeling my head.
- So, the date didn't go well? - Not exactly...
DUCK!
I don't feel good about this.
- Dude, what the? - Shhhh!
Everyone says that old turtle is a wizard.
They say that old shipwreck he lives in is haunted with ghosts.
It sounds spooky.
You know what you are? You're a disgrace to vicious predators! See?
If Troy tells us to go steal Nerissa's pearl then we go steal Nerissa's pearl.
Okay, I'll do it.
Okay, Magellan, Which way is that stupid shipwreck?
- I think it's that way. - Wrong way dummy!
- That was close, dude. - Come on, we gotta warn Nerissa.
Dude...
Oh... fish... Dude!
- Dude! - Nerissa!
Nerissa!
Oh well, no one's home. We tried Bye bye!
Nerissa!
Dude, nobody's here. And if they are they don't wanna be disturbed.
Let's just go.
Oh-oh...
Well. Look who's here.
Oh God, no!
Let go of me!
All right, stupid! First we get them, then the pearl.
- Dylan! - We're coming for you, chum!
Hey! They're down there! Come on!
But, Bart!
- I don't like this... - Stop your whining.
Come on! Let's go! Let's go. We gotta go
No! We can't let them get Nerissa's pearl.
- I'm just, just... - Don't freak out on me!
I'll figure something out.
- Hey, what's that? - It's... I don't know...
- Not bad. Not bad at all... - Pardon?
You're got more nerve than I thought.
Maybe I can do something about with your little problem with Troy.
Be here tomorrow, sunrise, begin your training.
My what? My training?
Dude, you're going to teach Pi how to fight Troy?
I'm going to teach the Kid how to defeat Troy.
Sunrise! Not one second later
- Cool! - Dude!
Pi!
I can't let you go.
I've heard from the ethereal netherworld,
and they think this is an incredibly stupid idea.
You said I'd find my destiny on the Reef. Well I did.
And I'm about to lose her, just like I lost my parents.
I couldn't do anything to save them, and maybe I can't save Cordelia.
But Aunt Pearl... I've got to try.
I'm gonna regret this...
All right, Kid,
We're gonna take a trip through the Canyon.
And if you can keep up and if you're still in one piece at the end
then we'll go on.
If not, I'll send what's left of you home in a doggy bag.
- I can keep up. - We'll see about that, kid.
This is nothing! I can go twice as fast as this!
It isn't what you can do on the straightaway,
Kid. It's the turns that'll get ya.
The Reef isn’t just a pretty place to sightsee, it can be your best weapon.
But to use it against your opponent, you've gotta master it yourself!
Elkhorn coral. Razor sharp.
If you're lucky, it'll just scrape off a patch of skin.
If you're unlucky, you'll get to see your own skeleton.
Fire coral. One touch and it can burn a hole right through your fin.
This section of the canyon is called Bottleneck Alley.
Some folks find a dark, enclosed space disorienting.
Plus, there's lots of rocks for them to bump their head on.
Remember this place, kid. I will ask questions later.
See you tomorrow, same time, same place.
If we get the crazy lady's pearl, maybe Troy will forgive us.
For what happened at the wreck? He already has.
- Are you sure? - Yeah. I told him it was your fault.
What? That isn't true!
- What's your point? - You are a liar!
Of course I lied. I'm an evil henchman.
I am an evil henchman also!
- You're not evil. - I am so!
If you were evil, you wouldn't care about me lying.
You think I'd care if you told lies about me?
I wouldn't tell lies about you!
Exactly. Because you're not evil!
I'm kinda evil.
All right, so you're pretty fast and agile for a fish. I'll give you that.
But still I'm tiny, compared to Troy.
Yeah, and Troy's tiny compared to the sea.
You learn to make the ocean work for ya, and size won't matter.
You get water dense enough, and it becomes a weapon.
What are you doing?
Please! Help! Nerissa!
- ladies and gentleman. Place your bets! - Help! Nerissa!
No! Wha... Please! I'm gonna be sick!
A fish gettin' sea sick. Now I've seen everything!
No barfing on the poop deck.
Yes, yes, yes! I want her to wear it up.
WAY UP for her next photo spread! That is supreme.
Now tease it. Tease it! TEASE IT!
You're squeezing it! I said tease it! Don't get huffy with me crab face.
I scratch your eyes out.
Ach do leber. This is so you. I just LUV it!
Please, sea shells were so last year.
The shells are fine...
Oh honey, you look so beautiful...
No, babe,
don't look so glum I wish I had two boys fighting over me.
What are you talking about?
Max... what's he talking about?
Darling, you have enough on your mind.
I don't want you worrying about some riffraff Romeo.
- The girl has got a right to know. - I second that...
Well, your admirer. The red one with the cute white stripe.
You mean Pi?
He's been working out with that crazy old wizard turtle
learning how to fight so he can beat up Troy when he comes.
No!
I hope it wasn't anything I said.
I don't like fighting. I like loving.
Eddie's not evil... Eddie's not evil!
Shut up! I am so! See! I said shut up!
That's not evil. That's just rude.
Well my mom always said, rudeness is the root of all evil.
I win! Evil henchmen don't talk about their mothers!
No...
All right, play time is over.
I've shown you ways to confuse and trap your opponent.
But you must train yourself to move and react faster than him.
Let's see what you can do.
Swim the obstacle course as fast as you can.
Go!
Swim like you life defended on it!
Cause it just might.
Come on! Put some fish oil into it!
All right, now, off the mast!
Over the sail!
Watch out!
I guess I should have explained myself.
The idea of an obstacle course is to avoid the obstacles.
Now, if the idea was to demolish my home with your face,
you'd be doing great. Try it again.
- But - And this time, do it fast!
Do it fast?
Go!
- Pi! - Cordelia!
I can't let you do it, Pi.
I make my own decisions, and I've chosen Troy.
Because you love him?
He promised to leave you alone and the Reef alone!
- Do you really believe he'll keep his promise? - I have to believe it.
If you can believe in him... then why can't you believe in me?
Did you hear about the kid who's gonna fight Troy?
Like we don't have enough problems with Troy.
This is only gonna make him madder.
Huh?
Exactly! And who's he gonna take it out on? Us!
Well, maybe after he eats the kid he'll feel too bloated
and lethargic to chase anybody else.
Good point! You shouldn't swim for at least half an hour after eating,
so maybe he'll get a cramp and we can all hide.
Spirit of the Sea? It's Pearl calling.
You know, it's too much to ask that he actually be able to win.
But please...
if everyone who loves Pi could just be there for him when the time comes...
Well, I'd really owe you one.
Percy... I had the strangest dream.
Me too,
Was it about Pi?
Yes. I have the feeling something awful is about to happen...
- Not evil. - I am so evil!
Not evil. I win!
Eddie... I am your father. Join me!
Oh wait, you're not evil enough.
Stop Now! You know it gives me the willies!
Evil henchmen don't get the willies.
They give the willies.
You don't have one evil scale all over you!
Yes, we're all very scaled down here, but must you be so loud?
See? I am evil.
Let go get that pearl!
Nerissa? How come you live in that old wreck?
Why don't you live on the Reef with everyone else?
What are you, a priest?
Well, uh... no.
Good! 'cause I don't remember goin' to confession.
Now listen up... You think you're fast, and maybe you are. But so is Troy.
I know.
But the ocean's faster than both of you.
Come on.
This is the West Indies Current.
Come on!
This is great! Why don't all fish do this?
Because we're not the only one's using the current.
Portuguese Man O'war.
One of the deadliest creatures in the ocean.
Notice the tentacles? Almost transparent;
easy to swim right into 'em. One touch, and a big fish is paralyzed.
One touch, and a fish your size is dead.
DEAD!
- What happened? - Someone broke in and stole Mom's pearl.
This is a bad omen, dude.
Stop it, Dylan! There's nothing mystical about this, Honestly,
I don't know where you get that from. We just got robbed, kids.
It happens. Even in the nicest neighborhoods.
I'm a... I'm just a, going to clean up down here is all.
Good night.
It's a sign. It's a terrible sign.
My dad gave her that pearl.
Hey, Dude. Forget all this, huh?
We'll run away and find your friend Percy. We'll migrate with the dolphins.
- Porpoises. - Whatever.
I wish we could, Dyl. But I made a promise.
To who? Cordelia? Dude, she doesn't even want you to fight Troy.
Maybe not. But if I break my word, she'll have to go off with Troy,
and I'll have to live with that.
Pi, I take back what I said before. You're 100% non-dork.
Oh, Dude. Sorry. Now that was the uncoolest thing I've ever done.
It's o-
And you're 99% feeb-free.
What's that Captain? How am I supposed to now what's wrong with him?
Maybe he's one of those farm fresh fish or something? Genetic malcontents.
Look, this is stupid!
I thought you were gonna teach me how to fight like you.
I don't stand a chance.
NO!
Hey! Get away from there!
Don't ever touch it again! Do you understand?
I'm... I'm sorry! What's the big deal?
It's the pearl I gave my wife. And it's all I have left of her.
Used to be, folks stuck together.
Then they put in the Wildlife Sanctuary,
and everybody forgot what it was like to be hunted.
When my wife got hooked out on Flatbottom,
I begged for help.
But nobody came, they all hid on the Reef, where it's safe.
I'm sorry.
Listen, Kid, I never told you I'd teach you how to fight the shark.
I never would, cause you'd never win.
- Then what... - I told you I'd teach you how to defeat him.
- But how? - With your brain.
What's stronger than Troy?
- Bigger? Faster. - The sea.
But what's to stop him from using them against me?
Troy always picks on folks who are smaller and weaker.
He has never had to learn about things bigger than himself.
I understand how to use all this stuff to avoid Troy, but how do I defeat him?
You offer something he wants, and then give him something he doesn't want.
You're shark bait, kid, like it or not.
And the Reef's the hook.
- Hey! Boychik! - Hey, Moe.
You look limper than a slice of lox.
I guess he's being pretty tough on you, huh?
Yeah, he was always like that, to build a higher.
- You know him? - Nerissa? Oh sure.
We were all of us pretty close, back before his... uh Well.
That's a long story. You better go back to bed, boychik.
If I know that old turtle, tomorrow's only gonna be worse.
Listen, Pi. If you get a chance, you tell Nerissa...
You, you, you tell him Moe says Hi.
And... uh... that I'm sorry.
Well, it's my last day of training.
Oh, Pi... I... I see a great destiny for you, my darling.
Really, are you just making that up?
What are you kidding me? I could lose my license.
You're talking to someone that read the fin of the con-father.
I'm telling ya, I see love, honesty, courage.
You're destined for great things. And don't you forget it, mister.
Pretty good, kid. But we still got some work to do.
Un-fishin' believable.
What's that captain? Huh? Heh! The Captain is embarrassed for you.
And he doesn't even exist.
You can tell the Captain I get the POINT!
- You're ready. - I am?
Well, you better be.
TROY! TROY! TROY!
I just want to thank everyone here for coming to my bachelor party.
I feel like the luckiest shark in the whole world.
I never though you would be the first one to go, squirt!
What's the old ball and chain for the little shrimp?
It'll never last...
Man, I love you dudes!
You know I got the hottest babe on the reef
but more importantly,
I got the best buds that the shark could ever have!
Who's goina' have a good time tonight,
before the old ball and chain takes away his bite?
TROY!
- Beautiful huh? - Cordelia!?
What are you doing here?
I like to come up here...
because it reminds me of you.
You need to make a wish.
What'd ya wish for?
That you come to your senses before tomorrow...
SSSSSSShark!
- Where's Pi? - Now you show up?
Model schmodel. That brave boy has left already
No! I've got to stop him!
Cordelia, wait!
We should have stopped Troy a long time ago,
but we were all too scared.
Well I won't let Pi throw his life away
standing up for fish who won’t even stand up for themselves!
Who decides if it's life or it's death?
Who can eat a whole school of salmon
and still have minty fresh breath?
Troy!
Who ain't afraid of no fishin' pole?
Who makes the babes all lose control?
Who can't be flushed down no toilet bowl?
Troy!
Well, well, well. Chicken of the sea.
Troy. If you want to take Cordelia, you'll have to go through me first.
It'll be my pleasure, chum.
You guys stay back. Cause this one's mine...
You're just prolonging the agony!
Actually, I'm postponing the agony!
What's a matter, Troy? Can't keep up with a piece of chum?
You are so dead!
You gotta catch me first!
Here I come!
Elkhorn coral! Razor sharp!
Fire coral. Wouldn't wanna touch that!
Oh-oh, tight squeeze up ahead!
No, no, no, no.
Stop, stop. Stop, please stop, stop the spinning!
I'm gonna hurl!
A sea-sick shark.
Now I've seen everything.
Welcome to Bottle neck alley!
No, no!
Troy, I can't beat you in a fight.
But I can certainly out think you.
Help me! Help me! Guys, help me!
Please! I'm endangered species!
Cheese!
Come on guys! Yeah, yeah, that's good!
No!
Yeah, Out of reef and out of luck, buddy.
I got you now!
Get him! You idiots!
We're coming for you, chum!
Time you boys got the boots!
- Wait! - No, What do you want?
You took my mom's pearl. Give it back.
Chunky boy here wants to fight?
Give it back!
Wait!
Bart, I'm scared!
What I say about going into my hole! What I say! It's my hole!
You gonna pay the price, here coming pitching!
Wait! Stop! I'm sorry! Oh my...
Hey, Troy.
Nobody makes those idiots look like idiots except me!
Ready to go for a big ride, Troy?
Portuguese Man O'war.
Watch out for the tentacles?
No!
Pi!
Stay back, guys!
Be careful!
Kid! You all right?
Nerissa!
Ah, yeah. Nerissa.
I was wondering where that little squirt picked up all his moves.
Too bad pops.
Looks like you didn't live up to your legend.
- Come on! - Oh no...
Here, here! Told ya. They hate this!
Ay caramba.
- You gotta get out of here! - No!
Keep your distance, Tiburon,
or we'll chop you into ceviche!
What do you think you're doing?
Helping out an old friend!
Like we should have done a long time ago!
Oh you bad fish, come back!
Come back! Come back right now!
Let's go!
Yes!
Move it! Ha! I got you now, chum!
Pull him up! Pull him up!
What the?
Have AT you, varlet!
Thou fusty fat-kidneyed flirt-gill!
I'm largely blubber!
My rear end alone contains a fatal dose of cholesterol!
He SHOOTS! He SCORES!
I can't move it!
Perhaps we can move it together, dear.
Mum!
Pants, I was robbed.
Ref I want instant replay. Right now.
Percy..!
- The net! - Pi... no!
Don't do this, dude.
It's the only way!
Pi! Be careful!
Troy! This is between us!
Well, maybe a little squirt like you can hide on the Reef,
but we're in open water now.
There's no way you can outrun me here.
Oh, yeah? We'll see about that.
You're dead!
What the...
Got you!
If I'm going, I'm gonna take you with me.
I don't think so!
Help!
Help, guys, please!
Who's the shark who's mean and rotten,
and going to be served with potatoes au gratin?
Troy!
Who's gonna find himself coated in batter,
featured on a Seafood Sampler Platter?
Troy!
That was a fairly insane thing you just all did.
Well, you know. We thought maybe you and the boychik could use a little help.
Anything for an old amigo.
Oh, Dylan! My baby. Oh, I'm so proud!
Mom, I...
Excuse me. I think you dropped this.
Oh, no. That belongs to my awesome mother.
Why, thank you... Doctor.
- Thank you, Nerissa. - You can keep your thanks.
And you can take this off my hands.
But... This belongs to you.
A long time ago, I gave it to the girl of my dreams.
We would've passed it on to our son, if we'd had one...
And if he's turned out like you.
I don't know what to say.
You know what to say. I'm just not the one you need to say it to.
- Cordelia... - Oh, Pi...
That sweetest thing ever!
I do believe in you.
Cordelia.
They're kissing!
- Why? - Come on! Let's go!
The townsfolk said 'Pi, you can't possibly win!'
He'll swallow your head and pick his teeth with your fin!
But Pi was determined, he refused to despair.
I know it's all true for you see...
I was there!